


Weaker Moments

by BlairDrakko



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Prime
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Minor Character Death, Psychological Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-07-24 09:30:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16172351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlairDrakko/pseuds/BlairDrakko
Summary: Short dabble within the Prime/ You Are Safe Now universe. Optimus finds himself rather broken after losing his teammate and old scars trigger old issues. He could handle it well enough... until Megatron finds him in his weakest moment...





	Weaker Moments

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there, I wrote this long ago..well most of it, and figured I could turn it into a dabbley doo! Then I made art for it too! Yay!

The world whispered. Trees groaning as a breeze danced between their many branches,  a river lazily gurgling close by, animals stirring within hidden burrows, trying to keep out the cold of night. It was here the titan sat. Silent, the hulking mass of machine was careful to not disrupt the soft organic world around him. A world that he did not belong to, but had learned to love.

Optimus Prime opened his optics slowly, their blue light illuminating the haven before him. 

 ** _Once more I find myself here._** The autobot leader thought grimly. How many times had he found himself within the shelter of this cove, the one place he could be alone, the one place he could be weak. He solemnly wiped a servo under his optics as his mind wandered back to what had brought him to the cove once more.

The battle that had transpired earlier that day played through his processor over, and over. What could have been done differently? Why hadn’t things worked as they were supposed to, _why_? Questions plagued his processor as he shivered in the cold.

“Cliffjumper,” the deceased bot’s designation fell from Optimus’s dermas quietly. 

**_Another soldier fallen, fallen to this endless war, and under my lead._** The Prime’s servos grasped his helm tightly as that thought echoed loudest of all.

The end of his fellow autobot had not been kind either, from becoming reanimated through that sickening experiment, fighting against his own comrades, until _finally_ falling for the second time. The whole scenario made Optimus sick. Just how low would these Decepticons fall to win this accursed war?

The Prime shook his helm growling loudly, his sudden action terrifying a nest of sleeping birds above him, sending them frantically squawking off into the night. He sighed as he stood, feeling a slight pang of guilt for the poor creatures. With a heavy spark he began walking back to the road, it was time to return to base.

He gently made his way through the trees and foliage back to the main road, making sure to disturb as little as possible in his venture. Once he arrived at the roads he scanned the terrain carefully, making sure no humans would see him before he transformed and slowly drove up to the road.

He drove in silence for the most part, his thoughts dark, spark heavy when suddenly he received a comm.

 **:Optimus?:** Ratchet’s voice crackled through his helm.

**:Yes, Ratchet? Is there a problem?:**

**:You have been gone a long time Optimus.  I, I was getting worried.:** Ratchet’s voice was steady but the Prime could tell the medic was concerned.

**:Forgive me, old friend. I seem to have lost track of the corn, ummm hour. I am returning now. Ratchet… How is Arcee?:**

Ratchet laughed bitterly through the comm, **:Silent, calculated, and pushing herself harder than ever. Jack is with her now though. Kid seems to be helping improve her mood, at least fractionally. How are you holding up?:**

Optimus felt his spark ease with the knowledge that Arcee wasn’t completely alone right now. _**Again**_ ** _and again these humans continue impress me…_**

**:I am grateful for the company Jack is providing for her, as I am certain she is as well.:**

Ratchet was silent for a moment after his answer, the medic clearing his vocalizer  before repeating his last inquiry.   **:Annnnd how are _you,_ Optimus?:**

Optimus sighed heavily as he considered how he should respond. He appreciated Ratchet’s concern and care of the Autobots greatly. The older mech may have always been a little rough around the edges, but Optimus knew he truly cared for all of the bots in their crew.  He just _wished_ the medic wasn’t so good at knowing when he was hurting, not just physically but on the inside.

**:I am doing as well as I can Ratchet, but please do not fret.:**

Ratchet scoffed, **:Mmmhmmm… Get back here Optimus. I would like to give you a checkup as well. It has been, a trying time for all of us. I want to make sure we are all at our peak, physically at least.:**

Optimus knew Ratchet was just trying to find something to do, to fix, to keep his processor off of Cliffjumper’s nightmarish death.

 **:Very well old friend I…:** The Prime’s  HUD sensors suddenly screamed at him and he immediately turned off the road. He drove between some trees, parking as his frame began to tremble.

**_Not now…_ **

**:Optimus? Are you alright?:** Ratchet’s worry ringing through his helm.

 **:T..t…tre…mmm…ors…:** Optimus stuttered back to the medic.

**:Slag it. Do you need a ground bridge Optimus? Want me to come get you?:**

Optimus’s frame was shaking worse now, his processor glitching painfully in his helm. He groaned brokenly as he forced himself to transform. He knew once the attack was in full swing, he wouldn’t be able to. His frame shuttered and began its jerky transformation, and once complete he fell forwards, landing on his servos and knees, **:N..nn..nn..o..o. F..f.fi..nne.:** He answered back as he concentrated on his venting.

Ratchet was quiet for a klik, **:Alright. I will trust your judgment, just… please comm if you need help okay? You don’t have to answer, I know it is hard. I will keep an optic on you from here. Be safe Optimus. Ratchet out.:**

Optimus was grateful for the medic, and felt terrible for worrying him. He lay down upon the sands of Jasper as his frame twitched around him.

He had had these tremors ever since he emerged as a Prime. When they had first occurred it was in his early days of being a Prime. He had been training with Ironhide at the time when suddenly his entire frame began to tremble. It grew to the point that he couldn’t even stand, and poor Ironhide had thought he had hit him too hard.

By the time Ratchet had shown up he couldn’t even speak, emitting just chirps, or static. He had been taken to the med bay immediately, yet none of the other medics had known what was wrong! His frame was fine, spark strong, there was no evidence of energon poisoning, by medical standards, he was one of the healthiest mechs on Cybertron.

Ratchet had observed him then, yelling at the apparently ignorant medics, and he insisted on checking on the young Prime’s helm.

Optimus had hated when his helm was opened, having been conscious during the exam, but it seemed worthwhile as Ratchet found deep scars along his processor.

The scars left by his former self, Orion Pax. Apparently the mech had gone through some trauma during his life, and though the memories of the events were gone, the damage was deeply integrated into his processor. Thus his tremor attacks.

Optimus groaned, his frame aching as it continued jerk around him. He hadn’t had an attack this long in a while, and it was beginning to worry him. They normally lasted only a few kliks these days, and most of the time he could remain speaking through them. He had been very lucky to never get one on the battlefield. Beyond the early ones, the attacks generally came when he was at peace, well, peace in frame… turmoil in his spark, or processor was another story. He should have known Cliffjumper’s grisly death would have triggered one.

He held his arms and legs close as he shook, his optics flickering slightly, when he suddenly felt, rather than saw, something near him.

He lifted his trembling helm, and tried to focus his optics as he searched the darkness around him. He was vastly aware of how vulnerable he was at the moment, and he did a quick prayer to Primus that there would be no surprises while he waited for his attack to ease.

Of course, he was not so lucky…

“My, my Prime, you look rather worse for wear.” Megatron’s voice rang out of the silence of the night.

Optimus shuttered his optics, his processor glitching far more franticly now. He tried to reach for his connection to his comm yet he couldn’t get his systems to connect!

**_Perhaps Ratchet will pick up Megatron’s signal? Yet, I didn’t…_ **

He un-shuttered his optics, and they flickered up to the gleaming warlord. Megatron was merely staring at him, his earlier smile fading as he watched the Prime’s frame twitch below him.

"Just what has happened to you, Prime?” Optimus was surprised by the tone of his nemesis’s voice. For once it wasn’t growling, it wasn’t harsh and hateful, instead it seemed almost… concerned?

The silver mech crouched beside him, his red optics scanning the smaller mech’s curled trembling frame, and glitching optics.

Optimus’s optical ridge lowered darkly, and he tried to answer the warlord but all that came out was broken chirps. His optics widened fearfully as he realized the severity of this particular attack.

**_I am at his mercy! Ratchet, please old friend, sense something is wrong! Send a bridge! Please!?_ **

Megatron’s own optics narrowed at the Prime’s inability to speak, the whole situation pulling at old memories of Orion once being in a very similar situation.

He gritted his denta as Optimus’s vocalizer began to crackle miserably, his frame starting to shake far more violently. The Prime’s digits curled as his chassis unfurled, and he went into a full seizure!

Optimus cried out, or tried to, as he lost all control of his frame. His body jerked wretchedly, and his helm abruptly slammed into the ground behind him. His optics filled with static when he suddenly he felt a warm servo cup his helm. That unexpected servo lifted his helm high, high enough so it wouldn’t crash against the Earth once more.

**_Megatron is holding me? Why?_ **

His flickering optics lifted to find Megatron’s helm over him as the silver mech held him. His vocalizer let out a terrible broken string of clicks, and beeps as another strong wave of tremors overtook him.

The Prime felt his optics fill with coolant, both from the agony that wracked his frame, and the complete and utter terror, and confusion he felt as Megatron held his helm.

“Focus on venting Optimus.” Megatron said quietly, and the smaller mech did so raggedly. He didn’t even realize he had stopped.

Another wave came, his glitching vocalizer screeching as his back arched off the ground. His terror grew as he felt his systems begin to scramble from the intensity of the seizure, one of his servos suddenly half transforming to his rifle. He roared as the wires and cabling in his arm began to overheat from the halted transition.

“Optimus… focus, focus on me. You _will_ get through this.” Megatron’s quiet, almost gentle voice pulled him from his focus on the twisting servo, and he desperately fixated on the other mech’s red optics.

He wasn’t sure when the last wave ended as he was so focused on the mech before him. He felt his spark warm as he stared into Megatron’s optics. It was a warmth he had secretly felt numerous times before, perhaps remnants of who he once was and each time it happened, it terrified him.

He felt the pooling coolant slip from his optics finally, as his frame became more and more still. Optimus couldn’t help but notice how Megatron continued to hold him even though his tremors weren’t nearly as strong. They stayed that way for a while. Optimus’s now steady, albeit exhausted optics, staring deeply into the warlord’s.

Optimus felt his frame grow so terribly heavy as the shaking turned to a gentle tremble, his exhaustion from the attacks coming full circle, and he found himself struggling to not fall into recharge.

“Optimus, call your medic before you fall into stasis.” Megatron said gently as he finally lowered the Prime’s helm down. The silver mech stood then, his optics distant. “This changes nothing Prime, but I will not off-line you like this. Heal, and I shall see you on the battlefield.” With that Megatron turned, transforming before he shot into the night sky.

Optimus blearily watched him go, his frame and processor reeling from everything that had occurred. He pushed that warmth in his spark away once more, and he commed Ratchet. **:R..rrat.t..ttchet… b..b.brr.ridge…:**

 **:Understood Optimus! I am on my way!:** Ratchet’s voice crackled back.

Optimus felt his optics growing dark as he looked to the sky once more, his spark growing colder the further Megatron flew from him.

**_Why, why would he do that? Why would he hold my helm? Just to make sure he could kill me another day?_ **

The prime vented deeply, his optics shuttering closed for a moment before he heard the familiar sound of a ground bridge opening near him. Ratchet rushed out along with Bulkhead. “Primus, Optimus!” The medic exclaimed as he saw his Prime laid out on the ground. He scowled at the steaming twisted servo as he knelt next to his leader. “You should have commed me earlier you big _IDIOT_!”

Optimus smiled weakly at Ratchet, “T..ttr..ied.”

Ratchet frowned his optics sad, “You haven’t had an attack this severe in a long time. You are lucky no Decepticons found you.”

The Prime’s optics flickered oddly at that, and Ratchet’s frown deepened, but he didn’t pursue it as he called to Bulkhead. “Grab him under that arm, I have this side. Come on Optimus, let’s get you home.”

The large mech groaned as he was pulled to his exhausted pedes. Together the trio stumbled towards the glowing bridge. Just before they entered Optimus turned his helm towards the sky one last time, **_Megatron… I… thank you…_**

**__ **

 

 

 


End file.
